I'm Back!!

So after a little over a year, I'm finally starting to find my way again. But this last year stretch was a rough one!!! I'm pretty sure it was just a lot of anger that had taken over. I've held onto a lot of anger, and directed it at Kristen, for what I believe are some totally bull shit child support laws (sorry, but that's just the way I feel). It is no wonder there are so many bitter, divorced dads out there, who I believe are only put in that situation because of a one-size-fits-all law that was brought upon us by the existence of some dead-beat Dads. I am not a dead-beat Dad. I want to have my son Ethan in my life as much as I possibly can. But the custody and legal system is nothing but a big game that is geared toward Moms coming out on top. That's just the way it is - Dads get screwed. I do want our son to have what he needs, but I believe that what the law entitles Kristen to goes way beyond what he really needs.

This has all proven to be a very tricky path for me to navigate. I know the anger isn't healthy. I also know that my own greed (and wanting to have things that I can't because of the way the law is) is not the healthy path either. I don't need a lot, but then again, neither does Kristen. But the law does give her all of the control here. I guess I don't like her having that either. In our marriage, she was always in control. But that was partly my fault, as I was just too weak at the time to share in that. And now, she is again in control, thanks to the way the law is. But it is the law, and I just need to accept that.

There is really not a whole lot that I need. What I need is love, peace, and joy. :) And you can't buy those. Life's most precious gifts (moments) are totally free! I will always have those. :) So today, I am choosing to let go of the greed, and the desire to have possessions that I really don't need. I am choosing a healthier path that will afford me a much more peaceful mind. God, please give me the strength to stay on this more peaceful path, and not fall back into that forest of darkness.